What is NLP?
NLP is often described as the study of excellence. It is based on the belief that all behaviour has a structure which can be learnt, taught or changed.
NLP means:
| Neuro | How we think and how the mind interacts with the body |
| Linguistics | How we use language consciously and unconsciously to create our reality and communicate |
| Programming | How we create habits and patterns of behaviour with our thoughts and can therefore change them |
Imagine you didn't have an instruction manual for your mobile phone and you were using it only to make and receive calls and save numbers - enough to get you by but only the basics. Then, one day you found the instruction booklet, and suddenly you could re-set it and programme it to operate, sound and respond the way you really wanted it to.
We each have resources inside ourselves we're not utilising right now, and NLP is the instruction manual for discovering these resources and using them to their potential.
Sometimes when we want to make changes, such as lowering stress or speaking more confidently, it feels like hard work. This is because our behaviours and emotions are created unconsciously. While we can make a conscious choice to change them, the actual change only happens at an unconscious level. This is where all change and learning takes place. This is where NLP comes in. It is extraordinary!
This means that when someone wants to stop doing something they've done for a long time, such as bite their nails or arrive late, they often don't know why they do it. Therefore, they don't know where to start or even what to change. This is often because what is driving them to do it is an unconscious intention. NLP helps to identify those unconscious patterns, so that they can be changed to suit what the individual wants in his or her life.
This all might sound a little complicated. I mean, how do you know what's conscious or unconscious for goodness sake?! The beauty of NLP is that the techniques used are extraordinarily simple, and the potential for our minds to make positive change for us is boundless.
The key is to know what you really want and that you really want to change. The rest is relatively straightforward! NLP techniques are powerful, specific and usually create immediate changes. The changes are created within you, by you, simply facilitated by the practitioner. This also means that it isn't 'done to you'. You are always in charge of the changes you are making.
One of the central principles of NLP is that we each have a map, which is our 'version' of life. It's not an accurate representation of our experiences; it's our own description or picture of reality. We develop this map throughout our lives through our experiences, unconsciously taking notice of what we think is important, and editing out what isn't. We make generalisations about things, and unknowingly distort them sometimes to make sense of them. In this way we concoct a version of life that is solely our own.
In NLP it is often described as our 'model of the world'. It's how we see the world, and it guides us through life. Your map is not the same as your neighbour's, your friend's, or anyone else's on the planet.
Can you think back to a time when you had a conversation with somebody about one thing and eventually realised they thought you were talking about something else entirely? We get our wires crossed when we assume our map (and way of thinking) is the same as everyone else's!
When we are communicating with others, problem solving or making decisions, we do the best we can with the map we have. Sometimes we don't choose the best behaviour because our map is inadequate. NLP allows us to open up our map (our model of the world) and see what else is there, what we can add to it, how it can be improved.
Successful people aren't usually successful due to sheer good luck. Studies of those who do well show they have beliefs about what they can achieve that propel them towards that. And this applies to all kinds of success whether it's financial, in sport, at work, or with relationships.
We also know that when someone does something well they have a 'strategy' for doing it; a sequence of behaviour and thought patterns that gets a result. NLP allows us to find out a particular strategy and learn it or teach it to others. NLP change processes were designed through the study of excellence in the field of therapy and personal change, enabling us to reproduce the same results for ourselves that highly experienced practitioners spent years perfecting.
Many areas of traditional psychology and counselling are based on the study of people suffering from mental and emotional ill-health. NLP models were developed by studying healthy successful people. Like other areas of coaching or therapy, NLP helps the client change and improve their life. Moreover, NLP techniques are simple and relatively fast, making the experience of clearing unhelpful negative emotions or healing phobias or trauma, gentle for the client. The emphasis is always on positive outcomes and the techniques focus on creating wholeness and emotional well-being.
NLP is also often described as the activity of modelling strategies. For example, one of the key strategies within NLP is building rapport with another person. Anyone can be taught rapport skills such as matching body language or tone of voice that help to make the other person feel comfortable, foster trust and ultimately build relationships.
The skills taught will be based on what people do, who are very successful in this area; how they act, what they think about, how they feel, and so on. Charismatic people like Bill Clinton and the late Princess Diana are shining examples of people using fine rapport skills that others can learn.
Other examples of creating new strategies might be as simple as someone wanting to feel more confident when they speak in front of an audience (pretty common isn't it?!) or perhaps a person wanting to feel happier in themselves after years of feeling sad, guilty or depressed. Using the concept of modelling, an NLP practitioner is able to discover the client's map and the 'blips' in their strategy causing problems for them. This way, those parts of their map can be improved, opening up new possibilities for choosing how we think, feel and behave.
